I’m Calling Out “They” — And the Fitness Myths Hurting Women Over 40 | Lucky 13 Fitness

You know the ones. “Well, they say…” — followed by something that makes every trainer’s eye twitch.

I need to call someone out this week. Not a person, exactly — more like a vibe. A faceless, nameless collective that apparently holds all the wisdom in the universe.

You know who I’m talking about. “They.”

Every time a client starts a sentence with “Well, they say…” I brace myself. Because what follows is almost always some wildly outdated, completely unsupported claim that someone, somewhere decided was true — and it’s been bouncing around the internet ever since.

And lately? “They” seem to have a particular obsession with women over 40. So let’s get into it.

The myths “they” keep pushing on women over 40

If you’re a woman in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, there’s a good chance you’ve been fed at least one of these — probably both:

Myth #1
“Lifting weights makes you bulky.”

Myth #2
“It’s too late to build muscle at your age.”

To both of those claims, I’m going to say what I’ve been saying to clients for years: that is complete and utter nonsense. And the science backs me up.

“Your age is not a barrier. It is simply a number that ‘they’ have convinced you means something it doesn’t.”

Let’s set the record straight — or gay, if you’re me

I’ve spent my career working at the intersection of fitness coaching and behavior change, and nothing frustrates me more than watching women hold themselves back because of myths that were never based in reality to begin with. So here’s the truth, no filter:

• Heavy lifting is one of the fastest ways to boost your metabolism, protect your bone density, and build a body that feels strong and capable — at any age. Women over 40 don’t bulk up from lifting. You know what causes that fear? A fundamental misunderstanding of how female hormones actually work.
• Your age is not a barrier to weight loss, muscle gain, or dramatically improved health. Women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s build muscle every single day — with the right program and the right coach in their corner.

In fact, strength training becomes more important as we age, not less. After 40, women naturally begin to lose muscle mass at a faster rate — a process called sarcopenia. Lifting weights doesn’t just slow that process. It can reverse it. The research is clear. The results my clients achieve are clear.

So why do these myths keep circulating?

Part of it is an outdated fitness culture that spent decades telling women to shrink — to do cardio, eat less, and avoid anything that might make them “too big.” Part of it is that fear-based messaging gets attention. And part of it, frankly, is that misinformation is stickier than truth.

But as a personal trainer and Licensed Certified Social Worker, my job is to work with the whole person — the beliefs, the history, the self-talk that keeps people from taking the actions they know would help them. And I’ve seen firsthand what happens when a woman over 40 finally picks up a barbell and stops listening to “they.”

She gets stronger. She feels better. And she wonders why she waited so long.

Your body can do it — if you put your mind to it

That’s not just a tagline. It’s the foundation of everything I do at Lucky 13 Fitness. The body is remarkably capable at any age. What holds most people back isn’t biology — it’s belief. It’s the stories “they” told us that we absorbed without question.

If you’re reading this and feeling relieved — like some long-held weight just got lifted off your shoulders — good. That’s exactly the point. Now let’s replace those myths with something better: a plan, a coach, and a community that actually knows what your body is capable of.