Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  A day to meant honor a man who stood up in front of the world and declared that he had a DREAM.  He professed his desire to make this world, and his place in it VERY different.

Some thought he was absolutely crazy.  Some thought his so-called dream would never come true.  And some thought he was just ONE MAN who never stood a chance against society at large.

But Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. did not listen to the naysayers.  

He did not pay attention to those who did not believe in him.

Dr. King wasted no time worrying what people would think of him.  No, HE HAD A DREAMand he used all of his energy to work toward making that DREAM come true.

This morning, before I started my workday, I Googled Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream”speech and read it.  It was incredibly powerful and moving.  It was so inspirational.  It reminded me of the TRUE spirit of this day.

I carried that inspiration with me all day long.  I thought about the ways in which I can channel Dr. King’s energy into everything I do.

I want to carry Dr. King’s tenacity and dedication into the DREAMS that I have!  I want to remember that as lofty as my dreams might seem, and as tiny as I may feel in this great big world, I CAN make my dreams come true.  I  never want to forget that MLK was one of many people who died trying to make his dream come true.  I respect and honor a person who believes in something so deeply that he/she will give 100% toward making it happen.

 I want YOU to do the same.

I want YOU to think about how it might have been if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. woke up one day and said,

“It’s just too hard for me to make this dream come true.  I don’t have enough time in the day to get it done.  The issue of civil rights is TOO BIG to tackle alone.  I’m just one man, how will I make a difference??”How would the world be different today if MLK didn’t take a stand for what he believed could come true with some dedication and hard work?  How would the world be different if he did not stand up in front of a huge crowd in our Nation’s capital and say “I HAVE A DREAM”??

What if Dr. King did not dare to dream?

He was one man.  He was one solitary person with a dream.  And look at the ripples he has caused; felt through an entire nation and society for generations.

Today, take some inspiration and courage from one of the most memorable and honored men in history.  Take a page out of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s book, and declare your dream.  Have the courage to say it out loud with your own voice.  Have the tenacity to make it come true, no matter the obstacles.

When people “Dare to Dream”, the world changes.  Mountains move.  Revolutions arise.  People are freed.  Minds evolve.  Peace occurs.

I present you with this challenge today:  DARE TO DREAM.

At the end of a long, endurance-based season of triathlon training, I was very eager to start lifting heavy things again and put on some muscle mass.  I did lots of research for just the right strength program, and ended up going with the “Strong and Ripped” program from Tony Gentilcore.  My partner, Jen, actually found the workout and we ended up choosing it for a few reasons.  They include, but are not limited to:

1. Tony is from central NY, and so is Jen.  She grew up in Syracuse and went to SUNY – Cortland.  So, anyone from the same neck of the woods is good, in her book.

2. Tony cracks me up with his hilarious blog post pre-explanation of the actual program.  He talks about Mr. October, a puke bucket and Britney Spears.  You definitely need to check it out.

3. The program looked sound, and seemed well within our ability and interests.

4. We were willing to try something titled “Strong and Ripped” cuz that’s exactly what we wanted to be!

What We Changed In the Program and WhyWe made some deviations from Tony’s layout, but we made sure to keep the Strength portion in tact.  For the first two weeks, we did 4×6′s and for the second two weeks we did 5×5′s.  Same with weeks 5-8.  What we tinkered with was the MetCon piece.  Both Jen and I have previous shoulder injuries and were careful about the shoulder work we did.  We decided to omit band resisted push ups and scarecrow.  We added in fun things like hip thrusters from a bench, push/pull with the Sled (that was BRUTAL), as well as using heavy ropes to PULL the sled while seated.

We also opted to change Tony’s 5-15 minute finishers.  This was not because we didn’t like the look/sound of them, but again to accommodate our preferences and injury tendencies.  We had just come off a Loooooooong triathlon season that included LOTS of running, so we decided to make “Finishers” of our own.  They consisted of: Burpee (with possible push up) and reverse lunge on each leg.  Multiply that by 20 and voila!

We also worked x1 per week with a trainer so we could get new ideas, get our form critiqued and get some additional feedback

What I Got From the “Strong and Ripped” ProgramIn short, I got exactly that: strong.  and.  ripped.  I am absolutely amazed and excited about the changes my body has made over the 8 weeks of this program.  I have noticeable definition and lean muscle mass, especially in my shoulders and arms.  My legs didn’t “grow” that much but they are stronger, for sure.

I also was reminded that leaving EVERY single workout feeling like a Mack truck has run you over is NOT what leads to success.  I remember in my early 20′s, working SO hard to get stronger and faster, but I went about it the wrong way.  I would lift for an hour and then do 60 minutes of cardio EVERY day.  The setup and execution of my programming was all wrong.  Then I got “edumacated” and understood the principles of program design and progressive overload.  These 8 weeks were a great reminder to me that strength WILL come, if you just follow the program.

Thirdly, I got a renewed faith in my body’s ability to rebound from injury.  I was in a car accident this past spring that sidelined me from EVERYTHING.  I went through a long course of physical therapy and had to re-learn how to use my shoulders, arm and back.  I wasn’t able to train or compete in part of my triathlon season, and even when I was back, I was hesitant to go 100%.  For the better part of 7 months, I barely lifted anything heavier than 20 lbs with my left arm.  I was babying my shoulder and my back.  Once I got through PT, and started working to build strength with my trainer, I decided to test things with this program.  I was A-MAZED at my “new” upper body.  My pull-ups were better, my deadlifts were more crisp, and my muscular definition was so different than it had been a year ago.  I am SO grateful for my body’s ability to come back from that injury.

OK, Here’s the Bragging Rights SectionI am pretty impressed with and proud of the numbers I put up in this program.  They are higher than they had been, and I am even more excited to grow from here.  These were all done with a body weight of 130lbs.

Deadlift- 185lbs for 5 reps.  My previous max had been 140lbs at about the same weight.

Squat- 100lbs for 5 reps.  I had to do this one without a spot… I am hoping I can push that # even further with someone spotting me.

Bench Press- 100lbs for 5 reps.  I had always been afraid to bench with full range of motion due to my shoulder, but here I am… putting up triple digits.

Reverse Lunge w/Barbell- 105lbs for 5 reps.  I ended up wearing a weighted vest to add some extra weight here.

Pull Ups- Full chest to bar with neutral grip for 25 reps.  I didn’t add any weight to these, and don’t plan on it either.  I would rather be able to do MORE consistent body weight pull ups.

Row- 44lb Kettlebell x5 reps (single arm)

In ConclusionI am VERY satisfied and VERY excited about my new gains.  I took a week off after the 8 weeks of this program, and have just started a program that I wrote for myself (with Jen’s help and input) that is specific to snowboarding.  One of the ways the “Strong and Ripped” program helped me is that now my baseline deadlift for 10 reps x5 sets is 135lbs.  AWESOMESAUCE.

Today I had a client email me saying she just returned from vacation and wanted to know: what’s the quickest way to get off the extra weight??  She wondered whether more cardio would do the trick, or if she should be focusing on more strength training to shed the extra pounds.  She is a fit and healthy woman who loves to run and kicked A$$ in my Bootcamp this past summer/fall! Check out the photo where she's KILLING that rope!

I realize that she’s probably not the only person wondering this, especially with Thanksgiving and Christmas (aka the Holiday Season) upon us! So I decided to share the advice I gave to her with the hope of answering this question of “how to lose vacation or holiday weight” for more people!

[NOTE: This blog is written as I structured my advice to my client, who is already in a good routine.  If you are not yet in a routine of healthy habits, its never too late to start.  Behavior change can happen for anyone with the right guidance.  My email is at the bottom of this blog, please reach out and contact me if you'd like some help!]

How to lose the extra weight gained over a vacation or holiday

In short: simply get back to your routine.

What I mean is, you are a healthy person who makes fitness a priority in everyday life.   You commit time on a regular basis to running and exercise at the gym.  You also pay attention to what you eat, and take extra steps to ensure that your food is prepared in a healthy manner.  In short- you have healthy habits.  YAY!!

That being said, don’t sweat the couple of extra pounds you gained during vacation/holiday.  Vacation/holiday is a time for relaxation, a bit of indulgence and a way to unwind from the stresses of reality.  The last thing you want to do to yourself when you get back is to then worry about the quickest and most effective way to shed all the weight you gained while you were away.  This immediately brings back a certain level of stress (Which exercise is best? If I do it X way, will it take too long?  If I do it Y way, will I lose weight faster?) which impedes the whole process.

Instead just get back to your regular routine of being a healthy person.Do cardio, lift weights, eat healthy home cooked meals.  Whether or not you do 5 days running and 3 days weights, or 2 days running and 4 days weights is really parsing hairs at an unnecessary level.



Truly, the things that will make the most difference in the least amount of time is the nutrition piece.
Here are My Top 3 Tips for “detoxing” your system after indulging:1) Drink more water than usual… drink 2 liters a day of room temp water with fresh lemon in it.

2) Take a break from alcohol.  Vacation is time to indulge, so when you get back, take a break from it.  Of any type of calorie you consume, calories from alcohol are the worst.  They are “empty calories”, meaning they have zero nutritional value.  They also add up pretty quickly!

3) Eat lots of veggies and lean protein.  If you’ve gotten into a groove of eating bread with each meal, or choosing high calorie dishes while on vacation, now is the time to get back to lean protein (fish, chicken, turkey, eggs) and veggies (leafy greens are awesome, but try to incorporate as many as possible).  Avoid the habit of dessert with every meal.  Be mindful of what you’re eating and the amounts.

 Try not to feel any stress, guilt, or remorse for anything you did or didn’t do or eat while on vacation/holiday.  It was a time to relax, and you enjoyed.  Now, just do these 3 things, get back into your regular routine, and you’ll be back to “normal” in no time.

Why Chad Stafko’s Article Is Wrong, and Why I’m Thanking Him

I love reading motivating quotes, phrases, and words before I work out.  I am a big believer of visualization, and picturing success before I attempt my event.  90% of the motivation I seek for my training- running, triathlon, lifting, etc- is positive in nature.  However, sometimes- juuuuust sometimes- I read something negative in nature and it makes me want to DESTROY the author’s vision or mission.  When this happens, I use every negative and incorrect sentence, theory, and theme to push me to run faster, lift heavier, and work harder.

It is the very reason that I can dig deep down and pull out my BEST athletic performances.I read an article last night written by Chad Stafko, which was published in the Wall Street Journal.  The article, titled “OK, you’re a runner.  Get over it” was the author’s best attempt at criticizing and chastising anyone who has ever sped up their gait beyond a sloth-like pace.  Stafko begins the article by saying that anyone with a 26.2 or 13.1 sticker on the back of their car has one for the sole purpose of showing off their running feats to non-runners like himself.  Yes, Mr. Stafko, the entire world MUST revolve around you.  What a self-centered statement; do not assume that anyone is using an ounce of their energy to incite a reaction out of you.  Instead, perhaps people are actually proud of their accomplishments.  Maybe they feel that a label such as 13.1 is a shout out to fellow runners and athletes.  I suspect (since I have these and many other similar stickers on my car) that the reason behind these displays of accomplishment is positive in nature, and meant to propel runners to continue striving for greatness.  It frightens me to think about what your potential theory is behind “No Farms, No Food”  bumper stickers.

The author continues by pointing out that the popularity of running has skyrocketed in the United States, with 2.5 million more runners finishing events in 2012 than in 2010.  Is this supposed to be a BAD thing, Mr. Stafko?  People lacing up and taking part in a community 5k, the proceeds of which likely go to a charitable cause, is supposed to be something to complain about???

Not to mention, getting 2.5 million MORE people to move might help us lower the overall cost of healthcare, just a teeny bit.It sounds like someone might have been the last one picked for Dodgeball on the playground in 2nd grade…. Just sayin’.

Mr. Stafko does not stop his cranky diatribe before addressing the social media problem associated with runners.  He claims that much like a “selfie” on Facebook is a desperate oh-please-look-at-me plea, that a person out on the roads for a run is a “one person parade”, begging for attention.

Excuse me while I burst out in a fit of laughter………………………………. OK I’m back.  That statement is just plain ridiculous.  Again, Mr. Stafko assumes that other people’s actions (namely runners) are centered around a statement to HIM.  Here we go again with the self-inflated view of the world.  Do you actually believe that the entire world (okay, maybe just anyone who enjoys moving at ALL) is out to get you?  What a miserable outlook; it’s no wonder you write such rude articles.  I won’t even get into the scores of benefits and positive outcomes that people get from sharing achievements and accomplishments with one another.  I’ll just throw out a few words: support, motivation, community, pride, courage, affirmation, inspiration.  Just a few OTHER reasons why people might be Tweeting about their last run, aside from making you cringe.

The last sentence of Mr. Stafko’s article is one of my favorites.  He states that he recently saw a bumper sticker that says 0.0 and says “I’ll take one of those, please”.  I could go on and on with jokes about 0 being the amount of friends he has, his intelligence level, or a million other jabs.

But, the more important message here is that Mr. Stafko is a hypocrite. By his own standards, displaying that bumper sticker on his car would be a braggardly claim to all fit people that he chooses not to run, not to move, and not to take action in his own life.  Mr. Stafko’s theory, applied to his own action, would mean that the owner of the 0.0 bumper sticker-ed car, sitting on a park bench eating a donut…or sitting on their couch watching TV…. or sitting at a desk at work….or sitting at a table at dinner in a restaurant…etc, would be doing so for the SOLE purpose of pissing off all the folks running by.

I would like to thank Mr. Stafko for writing his article.  Not only did he prove his own idiocy, but he also gave me that awesome feeling of fired-upness that gets me in the gym, or on the road for one HELLUVA workout.  I am pretty sure that I’m not alone when I say that his article may be responsible for people all over the country shaving time off of their mile.  You’re actually making runners FASTER, Mr. Stafko.  And you know what that means?! More stickers.

Guest Blog: Resistance Training for Cyclists - Off the Bike and Into the Weight Room
by: Paige Hope Crowther

Cycling and Triathlon season is underway and my goal is to hit the road faster, better and stronger than last year!  I recently completed a Spinning continued education course on Resistance Training for Spinners and it gave me  the knowledge and motivation I needed (combined with Lucky13Fitness’ Monster Monday workouts!) to kick myself into the next level for this 2013 season!Here are some tips on movements and strength training which can lead to increased ability in and out of the saddle!

1) Adding STRENGTH to your hill climbing: Pedal Stroke POWER!!  Leg Press–especially when done with a single leg at a time–will help your power output per pedal stroke, strength to take on more resistance, and endurance to keep pushing through to the end of those high-intensity, resistance sprints and hard, heavy, long hills.  This is an “open-chain” movement, isolating the leg, and anyone nursing an injury (esp. knee) should DEFINITELY seek approval from a doctor before attempting this movement.



2) Giving BALANCE to your out-of-saddle positions: Develop core musculature to improve balance and stability out of the saddle… SQUATS and LUNGES!  Body weight squats/lunges/side lunges/reverse lunges, functional squats with a body bar and walking lunges (with or without dumbbells) use core strength to stabilize while moving through multiple planes.  Single leg step-ups are another great exercise… add a little extra challenge and hold on to some dumbbells as you go!  These are very natural, “closed-chain” movements and will enhance your Spinning program, your road biking AND your movement during every day tasks!
3) Upper Body ENDURANCE for those long Spinning classes or 100+ mile bike rides: Planks and Push-Ups!  6+ hours in the saddle on a long ride means you’ll have to develop your shoulder, upper back, chest, triceps, forearms and wrist muscles.  All forms of plank (standing, moving, walking, side, reach-through, feet elevated, etc.) and of course, the always-popular Push-Up are a great way to develop those muscles… and can be done in the living room while watching t.v.!

4) An added PUSH for your Interval and Race Day rides: Think Explosive!  Think Plyometrics!  These kinds of exercises will help you comfortably and safely perform jumps and transition through positions while maintaining fluidity and control.  Plyo squats and jump lunges are great examples to get your Heart Rate up quickly for a power push!

***ALWAYS REMEMBER: Avoid over-training, eat plenty of healthy calories to support your fitness (“STRONG” is the new “skinny”), get plenty of sleep and STRETCH – flexibility is KEY to keeping your muscles and joints healthy for your various activities!

Cheers! to pedaling optimistically forward in 2013!!

About Paige: I got my start in cycling as a Spinning instructor who hadn’t ridden a bike since she was 14.  In June of 2011, my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Inspired by his strength and positive attitude, I bought my first road bike in January 2012 and signed up for the 2012 Pan-Mass Challenge in February, a ride where 100% of proceeds go to benefit the Dana Farber Cancer Institute through the Jimmy Fund.  My father has had an amazing recovery but I have, once again, committed to raising $4,300 for the 2013 PMC.  If you feel so inclined, please support my 2013, 192-mile PMC! http://www2.pmc.org/profile/PC0193Join me, Jarrod Charbonneau and Sarah Neely (Boston Sports Club instructor) for my Spin-A-Thon on June 23rd at Beacon Hill Athletic Club in Brighton Center to help me raise money for my 2013 PMC: http://paigespmc.eventbrite.com/#

As summer approaches, the amount of inquiries I get about the ways in which people (mostly women) can “slim down”, “get toned”, “lose fat from here, here and here”, “fit into a bikini”, etc. is multiplying. People want to know the tricks to getting a beach body.  Some people have legitimate expectations and questions, while others do not seem to understand the process.  This blog post is my attempt to set people straight (or gayly forward for all you non-heteros out there  ) about what you CAN and can NOT expect when it comes to getting bikini body ready.

Busting Bikini Body Beliefs… And providing the TRUTH!Bikini Body Belief #1: I need to target the underside of my arms, my belly, and the inside of my thighs to be bikini ready.

Belief Busted: Spot-treatment, in terms of fat loss, is not possible.  In order to lower your overall body fat percentage, you must work your WHOLE body in your exercise routine.  Strength training programs can zone in on certain muscle groups, but you will not get maximal results of the targeted group unless the rest of you is strong enough to support that.

Bikini Body Belief #2: I need to focus on cardio only, so that I can burn the most fat.  Strength training is not necessary.

Belief Busted: Cardiovascular exercise is very important for overall heart health, fitness level, as well as fat loss.  It is definitely an important piece of the puzzle.  But it is only ONE piece.  Strength/resistance training using dumbbells, Kettlebells, bands, tubing and even body weight are the KEY to building lean muscle that provides people with a solid look in a bikini.

Bikini Body Belief #3: I want to tone up, but am afraid to lift weights because I don’t want to get bulky.

Belief Busted: If your goal is to tone, then you MUST have the muscle to do so in the first place.  You can not tone bone, skin, or fat, so chances are you need a little more lean muscle to work with.  This requires strength/resistance training.  Muscle mass is not built through cardio, it is built through lifting weight (your own body, or something else).  Since this article is written for females, I want you all to listen up: YOU WILL NOT GET BULKY BY LIFTING WEIGHTS!!!!  Please trust me on this one.  What will happen is you will develop lean muscle mass that will give you the “toned” look you are going for.  In addition, it will also help your overall health by increasing your bone density, reducing your risk of falling later in life, improve your posture, etc…. I’m digressing, I know!

Bikini Body Belief #4: I’ll cut my calories really low and lose weight in time for summer….Who needs breakfast anyway!

Belief Busted:  Instead of denying yourself meals, or massively cutting calories to avoid weight gain, and even hope for some fat loss, make HEALTHIER choices that will serve your body better.  Take some time to plan out your meals ahead, so you don’t reach for crap when you’re hungry after denying yourself food all day.  Smart omissions you can make are: dairy, wheat/gluten, grains, processed foods, sugary drinks.  Try ramping up servings of the following: leafy green veggies, water with lemon, lean proteins, seasonal veggies, fruits.   Starvation will get you nowhere fast, bottom line.  

A healthy, fit body (in a bikini or a snow suit) is made by making healthy choices and staying committed to a healthy lifestyle.  Regular exercise, healthy eating, stress management and getting enough sleep are ALL so important.  With summer rapidly approaching, you might be looking for that extra BOOST to get you feeling your best on the beach.  If you’ve got the desire and the fire within, but need some assistance on just WHAT to do when you get into the gym, Lucky13Fitness is your solution!!! Visit our website: www.lucky13fitness.com and learn about our services!!! We are here to get you bikini body ready!!!

 Guest Blog: Lessons of Cross Training to One Dancer
by Dana Pellitteri

I am a dancer.  For most of my life, my idea of a workout included spending time at the ballet barre or rehearsing in the dance studio.  I didn’t play any sports and I never needed a gym membership because dance kept me fit.

When I stopped dancing after college, I needed to make some serious changes about the way I approached fitness.  Lucky13Fitness got me off the elliptical and showed me the value of cross training.  All of the exercises that I feared for so long (you know, the ones that “dancers don’t do”) made me a stronger athlete and a more confident dancer.

Here’s what cross training taught me:

Only you define what “athletic” is:  All my life people told me I wasn’t an “athlete” because I was a dancer.  I always laughed it off, but it many ways, I believed them.  “Dancers don’t run” and “Dancers don’t lift weights” were excuses I used to stay in my comfort zone and not try new things.  I never thought I could run a sprint or do a “real” push-up…until I did.

Weights do not have to equal bulk:  I avoided lifting weights my entire life because I thought they would make me bulky (and they scared the crap out of me).  Before I started with Lucky13Fitness, I had almost no upper body strength and never thought I needed it.  It wasn’t until I started dancing again that I noticed the impact that upper body strength had on my ability to balance, turn, and support my body during floorwork.  And I was toned, not bulky.  I started to love how toned my body looked, especially my arms.

You’re only as strong as your weakest muscles:  Cross training had me working muscles that I never used while dancing (and frankly, didn’t even know I had).   I always thought the best way to get better at doing something was to do that one thing, over and over.  I’ll never forget one of the first times I danced after training for about 3 months.  My core felt stronger, my balance was better, and I felt stronger on my feet.  All of my muscles—the ones that I strengthened through planks, rows, burpees, and squats—worked together to make me a better dancer.  Balancing my dominant muscles and my weak muscles also helped me understand my body and prevent injury.

Anyone can do it:  I never thought fitness mattered to me outside of dance until I completed my first 5k obstacle mud run.  During the course, there was one point when I panicked before using a rope to climb a vertical wall.  I had a horrible flashback to gym class where I just hung from the rope because I couldn’t climb it.  Pushing the panic to the back of my mind, I grabbed the rope and flew up the wall.  It felt effortless.  That’s one of my favorite fitness moments and the one where I realized that anyone can be strong, climb a wall, and do what they once thought impossible.  All it takes is a little hard work (OK, a lot) and the right attitude.

I think of these lessons every time I step into the studio or the gym.  What will fitness teach you in Lucky2013??

Dana Pellitteri has been a dancer for 24 years and is a recent lover of cross training.  She danced competitively in high school as well as at Stonehill College.  She currently dances with DanceWorks Boston.

I came across these top 10 rules a long time ago and saved them… I read them from time to time and i think they serve as a great reminder of part of what life is about.  So here is theLucky13Fitness Motivational Quote of the Day:

Top Ten Rules for Being Human 

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons are specific to you, and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgment – of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine – it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour – especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps – are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons – they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance – ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required – change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change – be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - “There” is no better than “here”. The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things – bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us – use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities – our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise – wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

- Cherie Carter-Scott

Guest Blog: The Comparison Trap
by Ali Weinberg

Have you ever heard the expression, “That which you focus on, grows”?  This is an important concept in the work that I do as a wellness coach.  I see many of my clients focusing on the negative things in their lives, and consequently they are left feeling unhappy, defeated, anxious, angry, and depressed.  Some examples I see are the following:

-Focusing on feeling depressed just makes me hate my life and feel more depressed

-“Focusing on “feeling fat” just makes me feel unattractive and then I reach for foods to soothe myself, and then I gain more weight

-Focusing on pain/illness in the body increases stress levels and may then increase my symptoms

What this leaves us with is this constant nagging voice in our head, telling us we are not good enough as we are, in this moment.  What if we focused on making the best of what we have right now, in this moment?  When we compare ourselves with others, we are in this constant mode of wanting more, and feeling miserable with whatever is in front of us.  In graduate school for psychology and in my training for wellness coaching, we learned to work with clients from a strength-based model, based on positive psychology.  As I began to work with my clients, many of them would talk about all of the negative things that had happened over the course of the week.  I would watch their body language as they reflected on their multiple stressors: slumped shoulders, furrowed eyebrows, tired faces, and drained overall demeanor.  As a therapist, I began to feel stuck; most of my clients were not seeing the changes they hoped to see in themselves.  I began to do a lot of research on positive psychology, and truly began to learn that you create your own reality.  Though it is important to acknowledge daily stressors and personal trauma, if we focus solely on these things, those problems seem to grow.  When I began to learn about using a strength-based model, I began to see shifts in my clients and also in myself.

During this time, I personally was battling an autoimmune disease that felt like it came out of nowhere, and that suddenly turned my world upside down.  As months passed, I felt myself slipping into a dark state as I anxiously Googled my condition, medications, therapies, and other patients’ experiences. I hit rock bottom with my negativity, anticipatory anxiety, and depressed mood before I decided started to shift my mentality. I decided that though I no longer felt in control over what my body did our how it responded to the medications that were fighting my illness and allowing me to function, I did have a choice in how I would react to this loss of control.   My body was something I always took for granted, and it was something that I always felt in control over.   I could run, dance, walk, teach my fitness classes, eat what I pleased, and sleep when I wanted to.  All of a sudden, all of those things were beyond my control.  I was upset and annoyed, and felt very lost.  Am I still angry that I got sick; despite the great lengths I have always taken to care for my health?  Of course!  We are all entitled to our emotions, but I did not want to become my illness and let it define me. I allow myself to be angry at the situation, and then I started to think about what I did have control over.  I read a lot about how people who express gratitude have less illness, more positive outlooks, and longer and healthier lives.. I decided to start the day by writing three simple things that I was grateful for.

Other things I recommend to my clients who are trying to be more positive and let go of negative stuck emotions include breathing visualizations. When I inhale, I think of positive energy filling my body.  When I breathe out, I envision negative stuck thoughts exiting my body.  Some people find it helpful to envision a sparkling light coming in on the inhale, and dark clouds leaving on exhale.  Breathing and mindfulness in itself can create powerful shifts only in minutes.  When we are stuck and speaking negatively to ourselves, we tend to breathe shallow and short breaths.  When we do this, we send the message to our brain to go into panic and anxiety mode, and the chemicals in our brains then secrete stress hormones.  I like to advise my clients to “fake it ‘til you make it” So when you are feeling very anxious, take at least 3 minutes to deeply slow your breathing down, which will elicit the message to your brain to slow down, and calm down.

Other techniques to reverse negativity?

-Get out of your hole!  Sometimes it seems easier to curl up on the couch, but this tends to drag you deeper down.  I like to get out of the house, whether it be to walk my dog, or to read at a coffee shop.  Bonus points if a friend comes along.  Being social with a close friend who knows what I am going through can reverse a funk.

-Exercise!  Start to stimulate those endorphins by moderately exercising.  Studies have shown that exercise can be more beneficial that antidepressant medications.

-Seek help if you need it!  Whether it be a therapist or a coach, it helps to talk to a professional.

-Feed yourself!  Keep your blood sugar stable and focus on whole, real foods.  The less garbage you put in your body, the better you will feel.

-Focus on what is positive!  Pick one thing that is going well for you, and reflect on that thing.

Remember, what you focus on grows!!

Ali Weinberg is a certified health and wellness coach and licensed psychotherapist in the Boston area. She is Director of Wellness Coaching at Engin Coaching (www.engincoach.com) and can be contacted at [email protected].  Ali specializes in women with eating disorders, anxiety, compulsive behaviors, and health issues.  She meets with clients both in person, and by telephone or Skype.

I read one of the most POWERFUL articles of my life last night.  It is called The Iron and it is by Henry Rollins.  My partner, Jen, shared it with me over dinner, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I am still re-reading snippets of it and thinking about how true the message is. Have a read: it is a bit lengthy but SOOO worth it!!

The Iron
by Henry Rollins

I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. 

Completely.

When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The humiliation of teachers calling me “garbage can” and telling me I’d be mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I didn’t run home crying, wondering why. 

I knew all too well. I was there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy. 

I hated myself all the time. 

As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing that I wasn’t going to get pounded in the hallway between classes. Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and you’ll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn’t think much of them either.

Then came Mr. Pepperman, my advisor. He was a powerfully built Vietnam veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class. Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to the blackboard. Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no. 

He told me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special. My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought the weights, but I couldn’t even drag them to my mom’s car. An attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.

Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.’s office after school. He said that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I wasn’t looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or tell anyone at school what I was doing. In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than I ever did in any of my classes. I didn’t want to blow it. I went home that night and started right in.

Weeks passed, and every once in a while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my books flying. The other students didn’t know what to think. More weeks passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.

Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one could ever take it away. You couldn’t say s–t to me.

It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong. When the Iron doesn’t want to come off the mat, it’s the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn’t teach you anything. That’s the way the Iron talks to you. It tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.

It wasn’t until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes without work and a certain amount of pain. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I know it can’t be as bad as that workout.

I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks lifting weight that my body wasn’t ready for and spent a few months not picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you’re not prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and self-control.

I have never met a truly strong person who didn’t have self-respect. I think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on someone’s shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr.Pepperman.

Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the heart.

Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was racing through my body.

Everything in me wanted her. So much so that sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn’t see her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads. 

I prefer to work out alone. 

It enables me to concentrate on the lessons that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you’re made of is always time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had taught me how to live. Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes down these days, it’s some kind of miracle if you’re not insane. People have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole.

I see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly. And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the Iron Mind.

Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.

The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back.

The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. 

This article originally appeared in Details Magazine

If you have followed my blog, you know that last year I blogged weekly about my half marathon training experience.  I blogged about my chronic left ankle injury and the ways in which it plagued me during the training season.

I developed tendinitis in my left ankle after an injury in 2007.  Immediately after the injury (I fell while on Rollerblades and my ankle was contorted pretty badly) I used the RICE [Rest/Ice/Compression/Elevate] method and took it easy for 2-3 weeks.  Then I resumed working out as usual.  By 2009, I was running approximately 30 miles per week, but was doing so with lots of pain.  The pain was often so bad that it radiated up my leg and into my hip/glutes.  When the pain was at its worst, I was unable to sleep on my left side.

Finally in 2009, I decided to get an MRI and that was when I was diagnosed with tendinitis.  I started physical therapy 2x/week and was told immediately that I had to stop running, biking, and doing ANY cardio in order for my leg to heal properly.  I could barely imagine living like that but wanted it fixed once and for all, so I was cardio-free for nearly 6 months.  Things were fine for a while, but as my exercise intensity and frequency increased, the pain, swelling and discomfort returned.

Fast forward to summer/fall of 2011.  I was approximately 10 weeks into my 12-week half marathon training program when my injury came back full force after a night of wearing heels and dancing at a friend’s wedding.  Neither my massage therapist nor I thought I’d be able to run the race, but we were both willing to try everything we could think of to prevent that from happening.  I built in extra stretch time both pre and post runs; I had ice on my leg at every chance I could get; I bought new sneakers to help endure the long hours of standing on my feet at work; I received massage treatments weekly and had extra mini treatments after any run over 4miles.  I took the last 2 weeks of that program day by day and I was able to get through and complete my race.

Since that time, just over a year ago, I have gone through strength training programs, Crossfit workouts, sprint and Olympic distance triathlon training, etc. and have almost always had some sort of acute issue when I pushed myself to train at my max.  It was frustrating for me both physically and mentally; I knew the rest of my body could train harder- be stronger and faster- but my left ankle was the weak link.

Just a few weeks ago, my partner and I were discussing acupuncture and other forms of eastern medicine.   We chatted about our shared belief in the power of eastern medicine and both recognized its 2nd class status in most people’s eyes when compared with western medicine.   She had started up with an acupuncturist and was seeing amazing results; she felt immediate relief of pain and swelling in otherwise chronically aggravated areas.  She suggested I try something different for my ankle and even went so far as to make me an appointment and treat me to a session (thanks sweetie!  )

I went for the appointment last night and I must say, I was very impressed.  There was a very thorough intake involved, which included the acupuncturist looking at my tongue.  Her one line of initial feedback was “your tongue says you don’t sleep well”.  Without any prompting from me, she also correctly identified that I woke frequently in the night to use the bathroom.  I was surprised she was able to tell this!  She then rolled up my pant legs and inserted very small needles into various spots on my left leg and foot.  She also inserted a few needles on the right hand side.  The needles did not hurt at all; I actually barely felt a thing.  While inserting each needle, she said things like “gallbladder 40”, “stomach 6” to her assistant, who was writing things down on my chart.  I still didn’t really know what was going on, or what to expect.  Then she left me alone in the quiet, dark, warm, calming room and I dozed off for nearly 45 minutes.  When she returned, she performed gua-sha on my left calf and the tightness I had previously felt was completely gone.

Flexing and extending my ankle now brings ZERO pain or discomfort.  The swelling is down and my entire leg feels great.  I’m convinced enough to go back a few more times and try to reverse the “blocked energy” my acupuncturist says is causing the inflammation.

It has been a LONG road with this ankle injury.  I have tried so many things- rest, ice, stretching, modifying exercise, different sneakers, massage, etc and I’ve still battled with swelling and pain.  I’m excited to see what results will come with this new and alternative type of medicine.

Sometimes it’s hard to juggle all the things life throws our way; work, school, relationships, family, friends, extracurricular commitments, volunteering, eating well, exercise, training for an event, and SLEEP! It can be overwhelming and frustrating. 

I’ve been feeling a bit this way lately and it sure puts a damper on my mood.  Just as my family and friends predicted, working a full-time job, trying to open a personal training studio and training for a triathlon simultaneously has been an ENORMOUS challenge.  Lately, it seems that there’s just not enough hours in the day to get the items on my “To Do” list done.  And the list just keeps growing!  If I feel on top of things in one area, it is almost always at the expense of something else.  So, when I examine the greater picture I’m almost always disappointed with myself and what I didn’t get done.  This is a recipe for a downward spiral disaster.

Today, I decided that I’d had enough feeling badly for myself and that, come hell or high water, I was going to pull myself OUT of this mental funk I’d gotten into.  I reminded myself of  The 4 P’s and tried to put them into action.  Taking a moment to think about The 4 P’s has helped me in times of high stress before, and this morning it didn’t fail!  I thought I’d share:

The 4 P’s

Prepare:  This is a huge theme in my life.  Preparing food for the week, packing it in Tupperware ahead of time and having it set to go is something that saves me 20-30 minutes a day.  Preparing my work/gym/overnight bag(s) the night before also helps me too.  I often need to bring several changes of clothes and need outfits for biking, running, swim, etc so packing it all the night before decreases my chances of forgetting something!

Plan: This goes hand in hand with preparation.  Having a plan or structure to each day/week/month can help give an idea of how best to maximize time.  When I open my planner and see each client, workout, appointment, social engagement, etc blocked off, it helps me to see the “holes” and where I could fit things in.  “Seeing” a random half hour block between two clients reminds me that I can use that time for emails, blogging, or making sure to eat lunch!

Practice: Something I’ve learned lately is that it takes a LOT of practice to get used to a new schedule, setup or habit.  Juggling a full-time job, opening my Lucky13Fitness studio & training for my triathlon requires exquisite time management and self-discipline.  I haven’t been perfect but am learning that with time and practice, I’m getting better at prioritizing what’s most important and what can wait until the next day or week. 

*This last one has been super important to me the past few days*

Patience: They say patience is a virtue, and I’m starting to realize that statement is true!!!  Even after all the preparation, planning and practice in the world, sometimes things don’t go EXACTLY as I’d like.  I have to adjust to fit unexpected bumps in the road.  I’ve had to remind myself a LOT lately that this is part of triathlon training, part of opening a new business, and part of life.  There’s always the X-factor of the unexpected and unplanned and I can’t let it throw off my whole groove.  I’m practicing my patience by reminding myself that my schedule will change soon and that I’ll have more time for the things I need to accomplish.  Until then, I just gotta do the best I can with the time I’m given!

I hope The 4 P’s help you get through a stressful moment!  Life isn’t perfect, and as they say: Take It One Day At A Time!

As you may have read in my previous blog posts, I have been on the Paleo Diet for Lent this year.  I did so because many friends, clients & family members have asked me about it and want to know “Is this a good diet?” and “Should I go on this?”  My answers came from a limited knowledge base, and the more I heard about the buzz of the Paleo Diet, the more I wanted to see about it for myself.  It has been nearly 40 days (the duration of Lent) and I can honestly say that I have never felt better.  It did take a LOT of research, reading, digging, and self-teaching before I realized exactly how this “diet” would work for me.  I learned that the Paleo Diet is simply a blueprint or outline of a lifestyle that aims to mimic that of our caveman (and cavewoman) ancestors.  Just exactly HOW closely each person follows the blueprint is up for their own deciding.  Depending on what a person’s fitness/health goals are, different foods may be included or excluded in their diet.  It took me about a week and a half to get my personal blueprint just right.  Within 2 weeks I’d shed 5lbs [body fat, NOT muscle] and felt leaner, stronger, faster & tighter than ever before.  I was eating nutrient rich foods and felt full even though I was consuming food less often.  My experimentation with the Paleo Diet coincided with the start of my triathlon training.  I was initially somewhat concerned that without starchy carbohydrates I wouldn’t have enough energy to get through my long workouts.  But this was not the case at all.  I simply consumed enough lean animal protein, healthy fats, and fruits/veg that I was fueled up enough to do whatever my workout required.  Another great thing about the Paleo Diet is that I managed to cut WAY down on my caffeine intake.  Instead of 2 cups at home in the morning plus a Starbucks run or two while at work, I have cut down to my 2 cups before I leave the house.  If I get a craving to take a field trip to Starbucks, I get myself a decaf tea.  I discovered that for me, it was more about the routine of taking a break and going to Starbucks than it was actually about getting some more caffeine in my body.  Subsequently, I have been sleeping better.  My body is appropriately tired at the end of my long days and I am able to get to bed at a reasonable hour.  I am getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night which seems to be exactly what my body needs.  On the odd night I get 6-6.5 hours of sleep, I definitely feel it the next day, so I make every effort to avoid this.  I also have become very specific about my alcohol intake.  I do not normally drink a lot at all, but I decided to narrow my choices to tequila (because it comes from the agave plant) and wine (because it comes from grapes).  I have cut out beer (with the exception of my Colorado trip) and all other types of alcohol.  I don’t drink with much regularity, especially now during triathlon training, but I opt for the Paleo friendly choices when I do have a drink.

All in all, I am VERY satisfied with the Paleo Diet.  I plan on continuing this lifestyle even after Lent is over.  For me, it has worked great.  I can honestly say that I feel the fittest, strongest, and BEST I have in my life.  My skin is clear, my energy is up, my workouts are stellar & I’m ready to take on the challenge of triathlon season!!  Now, let me say that the key parts of the above sentence are the words “For me”.  I know that the Paleo Diet works for me because I have tried it and have felt the results.  That being said, I still stand by the notion that nothing is for everyone.  No single workout, diet, approach, plan or lifestyle will work for everybody.  It just won’t.  While the Paleo Diet has been a tremendous success for me, it has turned out to be just the opposite for others.  

My sister, Jessie, has found this out the hard way.  With her sister and boyfriend totally immersed in the Paleo Lifestyle, Jessie gladly jumped on board and tried experimental dinners, snacks, and other Paleo recipes.  She made the switch from skim milk to almond milk, started eating more nuts and fruits for snack, cut back on cereal and bread & was always up for Paleo pizza as a Friday night treat.  What also happened during this time was that Jessie was having stomach issues which grew in severity.  She originally thought she ate something at a party that disagreed with her but the symptoms lingered a little too long.  She couldn’t figure it out; she was hydrated, eating all the same foods I ate, and took her daily vitamins and probiotic pills.  The symptoms continued for a month or so, sometimes getting a bit better but worsening at other times.  Finally, Jessie went to the doctor and had a CT scan of her stomach.  She was diagnosed with Diverticulosis.  Her doctor told her that she must avoid nuts and nut butters [SO much of Paleo Diet has to do with these things] and eat a high-fiber, low-fat diet.  Turns out the Paleo Diet was making her sick; she is a perfect example of someone who does NOT do well on this particular diet.

There are many exceptions such as this for any fitness program, diet or workout there is out there.  Just because it works for your friends, colleagues, family members or the folks you see on TV, does NOT mean it will work similarly for you.  When starting something new- diet, exercise or otherwise- make sure to read, research and educate yourself on it as much as possible.  Talk to your doctor about the changes you are considering, especially if you have a medical history that is significant of anything which might be affected.  When you DO make significant changes to your workout and/or diet, be aware of how your body reacts.  Do you feel ill, run down, bloated, uncomfortable, sluggish, or unfocused?  Or do you feel energetic, strong, and healthy?  Are you able to sleep? Is your skin clear or blemished?  Your body has many ways of telling you whether or not you’re putting the right things into it.  Pay close attention.  And remember: nothing is for everybody; find the blueprint that is right for YOU!

This quote has always been a great reminder of all the wonderful people I have surrounding me in life on an everyday basis.  I don’t need to be on a tropical beach with perfect weather to be happy (though that’d be great!) & I could be caught in the rain on a crummy day instead and be perfectly content.  The difference is in the folks I have surrounding me.  The tropical beach would suck if I were with cranky, mean, selfish people.  But the rainstorm would end up being a fun adventure full of laughter if I were with friends or family members whom I love.  I’ve always tried to keep this quote at the forefront of my mind, so that when I find myself in a less-than-desirable situation, I can still find the positive in it.

This morning I came along a quote that struck a similar chord:

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.”
- Mark Twain

I read the quote a few times and realized what a deep connection it has to achieving goals of everyday life.  Whether the goals are related to fitness, healthy living, career, relationships, hobbies or anything else, this quote absolutely applies.  I think we all, at times, underestimate or disregard how much influence those around us have on our everyday decisions and goal achievement.  At first thought, you might think your friends’ unhealthy eating habits, frequent partying or disregard to their career won’t affect you and your journey.  You may have the willpower and resolve to politely decline invitations to party or hit up happy hour after work in favor of putting in extra time at the office or getting to the gym.  But, truthfully, how long can that endure?  When you DO see these friends, will you have much to talk about?  I believe that friends truly bond through shared experience.  Some of my best friends are such because we have shared many funny/scary/crazy/difficult experiences together. Additionally, will the peer pressure eventually wear you down and encourage you to make decisions that counter the progress made toward your goals?  Will you forever be able to say “no, thank you” to a table full of nachos, beer, and buffalo wings every time you go out?  Or will you eventually give in?  Will you take smart risks in your career which may involve travel, relocating, or spending many more hours at work to get ahead when you’re surrounded by folks who aren’t career-driven and have no interest in becoming successful?

Most importantly, the people in my life (friends, family, colleagues) offer me support that helps me on the days I’m just not feelin’ it.  My friends are there to remind me that I need to keep taking steps toward my career goals, personal goals, and more.  They do so by exhibiting the same drive, persistence and positive mindset I try to maintain every day.  When one of us is feeling down, the others are there in support.  I can not imagine my life without my friends and family being there for me.  They also do so by applauding me in my successes and helping me to see the lessons in the setbacks.  Simply being in their presence helps me to stay focused, driven and on track with my goals.

Mark Twain was onto something BIG when he said that quote….I think one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is the presence of amazing people in our lives.  Family, friends, co-workers, colleagues, teammates; each person you associate with should bring a bit of positive energy into your life.  So go ahead, read Mark Twain’s quote a few more times and let it sink in.  Think about the people you have the most face-time with: are they supportive and motivating?

If you’ve ever read my blog before (or even looked at the title) you’d know that I usually blog about fitness, healthy eating, exercise, training for races, and the connection between physical and mental health.  Today’s post may appear to be an offshoot into left field from my usual subject matter, but I truly believe that it is inextricably intertwined with fitness, self-esteem, and body image.  I invite you to read the entire post, watch the featured clip, and share your feedback.

Today I watched a trailer for the movie Miss Representation and was deeply moved.  The clip struck me in many ways and left me extremely anxious to see the full length film.  Its focus is on the ways in which the media sends the message that a woman’s value is based on her physical appearance.  The trailer features clips of interviews with several categories of women such as high school students, professional women, and actresses.  It also shows news/magazine/art images displaying various types of demeaning messages.  From the short clip, it seems that the film will be an eye-opener for most people; hopefully it will raise consciousness and movement toward change.  However, this clip also served as a reminder to me of how deeply embedded beauty and appearance are in even the biggest of activists.  One of the women interviewed in trailer is Jane Fonda.  She is shown wearing an exorbitant amount of make up and is also a known consumer of plastic surgery.  To me, this is symbolic of a woman’s ability to have knowledge and awareness but simultaneously contribute to the rigid beauty standards set by society and media.

How does this connect with fitness and living well, you ask?  Let me try to explain.  I truly believe that a woman’s perception of her own body begins at a very young age.  The media messages at the focal point of this movie are the exact type of influence that molds a young girl’s self-image.  Eventually that little girl grows into a young woman and then into an adult.  By this time, she has seen/read/heard hundreds of thousands of reinforcing messages that she should look a certain way.  Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to eating disorders and depression for many women.  Anorexia, bulimia, food addiction and exercise addiction are a few of the potential harmful outcomes.  But even for those women who do not develop a diagnosable disorder, I believe that we are ALL at risk of stepping over the line into some sort of unhealthy behavior at one time or another.  Whether its restricting the types of food we eat, amount of calories we consume, overdoing it with exercise in hopes to lose as much weight as possible, or getting into a funk because we don’t look like any of the models in the tabloids, every woman must realize the close proximity of destructive behaviour.  We must be vigilant and remain aware of the motives behind our actions, checking in with ourselves and one another with regularity.

I am an enormous advocate for fitness, exercise, eating well, and being healthy; it is both my passion and my career.  But I am all too aware of the blurry line between exercising to be fit, and exercising to be as skinny as possible.  Equally so, I am aware of the different motives behind eating habits and what different potential outcomes people may seek.  I try every day to make sure that all of my encouragement, motivation, and excitement for fitness and eating well is taken in a positive, healthy way.  I do want to help my clients be the BEST they can be, and this means being strong, confident, and healthy.  As a woman, I am always keeping a watchful eye out for my female friends, co-workers, clients, sister, mother, aunts, cousins, etc. to make sure they see themselves as wonderful, powerful, able beings who add up to FAR MORE than the value placed on them by the media and society.

I am curious to know your reaction to the clip.  I know there are so many differing opinions, thoughts, and ideas on this subject matter and I’m eager to discuss. If you'd like to check out the extended clip, here it is:

WARNING: TOUGH LOVE AHEAD…

“I had to work late”

“I forgot my sneakers at home”

“I’ve had the worst day”

“My gym buddy isn’t going, so I’m not going either”

“I’m tired”

“I don’t have time”

We’ve all uttered at least one of the above comments at some point.  I’ve heard each of these phrases as well as countless other variations as “reasons” not to work out, be active or eat healthy foods.  I use the word “Reason” in quotes on purpose.  These are not reasons, they are EXCUSES.  They are excuses that people give me and themselves so that they don’t feel guilty for not working out or hitting their daily goal.  I know this sounds very harsh but we all need to hear it from time to time.  A great majority of us need to be reminded that excuses don’t produce results; they don’t burn fat, they don’t increase lean muscle mass, they don’t make you stronger, faster, healthier or better in ANY way.  They do one thing and one thing only: excuses attempt to assuage guilt.  If we felt that there was no good reason to skip a workout or not achieve our daily goal, we would likely be racked with guilt.  However, if we can pin the blame on something (or someone) else, we no longer carry the guilt.  We can sit at home watching tv, or at the bar with our friends without feeling bad at all.

My challenge for you this week is simple.  Do NOT give in to excuses.  If you find yourself talking your way out of commitment to a goal or healthy habit, stop and refocus.  Remind yourself that excuses do not produce results.  Hard work and consistency are the keys to success.  Hold yourself accountable this week- make sure you push past the urge to create excuses- and see to it that you reach the Finish.  Nike was on to something when they created the slogan “Just Do It”.  Don’t let anything get in the way, don’t let anyone or anything else prevent you from reaching the goals you’ve set.  Plow through roadblocks and obstacles with tenacity and don’t stop until you’ve tasted success. NO EXCUSES.

Yesterday was a big day for me.  It was my birthday, my 30th birthday to be exact.  I celebrated another year of life and entered into a brand new DECADE!  I gotta be honest, the days and weeks leading up to my birthday were more overwhelming than the actual event.  My friends and family made sure to remind me that I was “getting old soon” and lovingly referred to me as Nana, Old Lady, and Grandma.  But swallowing the “30 Pill” was actually a pleasant event.  The same friends who poked fun at my old lady status were also the same friends who went out of their way to make my birthday an unforgettable event that I will cherish forever.  The amount of thought, time, and effort that went into executing an evening full of laughs did not go unappreciated or unnoticed.  Each gift, card, and treat was absolutely chosen with me in mind.  From the organic cupcakes, to the cards about kitties, exercise, and poop (yes i get a kick out of talking about poop),  the Shake Weight, and the Mexican Themed gift that completed my New Years resolution trifecta….it all was perfect.  I drove home and thought about how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life.  I am truly a blessed person.

And I honestly feel GREAT about being 30.  With a half marathon freshly under my belt and plans for a triathlon and marathon in 2012, I have never felt more fit.  I am able to wake up every day, look in the mirror and truly feel happy about where I am in life.  As I reflect back on my 20′s, I see all the growth I did as a person.  It was a decade of discovery; I discovered who I was, who I valued and wanted around in my life, what I wanted as a career, and I solidified my beliefs and values.  I discovered parts of myself that had been dormant for the first two decades of my life.  I developed relationships with people who would prove to be the best friends of my life.  Discovery, however, also included disaster!  I made mistakes, made choices that hurt myself and those that I love, and lost significant people in my life.  The most profound and life changing lessons I learned happened through these mistakes.  It is only now, looking back on it all, that I realize the enormous value these experiences had on my life and development as an adult.

After all my reflecting and thinking about my life up until this point as well as my future from this day forward, I can boil it down to one phrase: Faith not fear.  I must never be afraid to act, I must never be afraid to make a mistake.  Fear is my worst enemy and will be the only thing that holds me back from achieving all the hopes and dreams I have for myself.  If I keep the phrase “Faith, not fear”  in mind as often as possible, I know that my next 30 years will be even more fruitful and rewarding than the first.  I will take chances, make decisions and do things that will take me far beyond my wildest dreams.  I know from experience that mistakes happen and they are some of life’s greatest lessons.  Instead of holding back for fear of making a mistake, I will act  and welcome the possibility of any outcome.   I look forward to each and every new experience of my 30′s.  BRING IT ON!

“step out of your comfort zone”

“do one thing every day that scares you”

“change is the only constant”

If you know me, have read my previous blogs, view my Facebook page, or even have had an in-depth conversation with me, you’ll know that I LOVE QUOTES.  Motivational, inspirational, make-you-think-about-life kind of quotes.  There have been some pretty incredible things said by people who have walked this Earth.  There have been women and men who have summed their life experiences into a few powerful snippets of advice.   And when I hear a snippet that moves me, that rattles my soul, I always save it and write it down.

The 3 quotes that I used to start this post are quotes that I have run into over and over again in life. They have appeared everywhere, time and time again. At first I wasn’t as captivated by these words as I was with other quotes. They didn’t strike me as words to live by.  I sort of thought- well why change something if what you’re doing is working?  Why do something SCARY every day? I’m afraid of spiders, family and friends getting sick, and car accidents. I want to stay as FAR away from all those things as possible!  How can change be the only constant? Don’t people figure things out and then keep on keepin’ on? This was my initial reaction to reading these quotes.

As the days of my life journey have unfolded and I have been blessed with more and more experiences and opportunities in life, I found myself going back and thinking about one quote in particular- the one that bothered me the most. “Do one thing every day that scares you”.  Spoken by the incredible Eleanor Roosevelt, I knew this quote HAD to be powerful, I just wasn’t seeing the power yet.  I tried applying this quote to different instances and occurrences in life, to see if it “fit”.  And then one day, it hit me.  Every time I found success in life, every time I achieved a goal, every time I made another dream come true, it had been immediately preceded by taking a huge risk.  In order to achieve something I hadn’t yet accomplished, I had to go to lengths I never dared to before.  I did something SCARY by taking those risks and delving into uncharted territory.

There was always a significant amount of fear when I did so; fear that I’d fail, fear that I’d be made fun of, fear that it wouldn’t go exactly as I envisioned, fear that it’d go FAR BETTER than I was prepared for.  And no matter what the outcome, I realized I always learned a valuable lesson.  The lesson became power and knowledge to use toward achieving my next goal.  The scariest moments were those that yielded the most powerful results.  I realized that if I had always stayed put, in a place where I knew I could “get by” and be comfortable, I would never be able to follow my passions and achieve true success.  I now embrace the thought of doing something each day that scares me.  But I now realize that it could mean any number of things- small to HUGE.  The main thing is to always keep challenging myself to be better, to progress forward, to meet new goals, and to be as happy as I can in my own skin every day.  Stepping out on a limb, where its scary, is the only place for that to happen.

Take time today to do something that scares you… take that risk, step out of your comfort zone even just a little bit.  Do that thing you’ve been thinking about for a few weeks but have been a bit too fearful to complete.  And then share. I’d love to hear your story.